My Moms MIschapes

Once my dads hockey game was over him and his friend Scottie left to go to a night club. And my Mom was driving with her friend colleen when the problem started. A scary looking man made a creepy looking face at my mom. She would slow down, then the guy would slow down, She would speed up the guy would speed up. Sooner or later my mom pulled into her house and took out my sister from the back seats. While she left my brother in the car, as worried as she was she had to get into the house with my sister, colleen and herself. The guy pulled into the driveway, went into the back yard and started banging on the glass, Maggie and Colleen sat there and watched the creepy man clash his fist on the glass, meanwhile my mom had to run outside and take curt out of his car seat and run him back in the house! She succeeded, she ran into the house thinking that the man was right behind her, but really the man was still down at the back yard scaring the guts out of Colleen and my sister. Although my brother and sister didnt know what was going on, my mom and Colleen did. And if anything happened to my sister or my brother they wouldn't be living now.
Another story was back in westside where my auntie lives, one night she was gracefully sleeping in her bed downstairs in her house. My uncle wasn't home, all the lights were turned off, everything was silent. Louise didn't here the glass break at the top floor of the house. In the middle of her sleep she woke up to feel the breathe of a dark dark man on her face. The man dashed to the sliding glass door. It happened to be locked, meanwhile my auntie was screaming to death and didn't know what to do! She helped the man get out. As fast as he could he ran to the front of the house and climbed into a bush. He was never seen again. My auntie witnessed the whole thing with her own eyes! She didnt know what to do, with no sleep that night, she sat there crying and frieghtened. By that time the cops cleaned the driveway up. I guess there was blood all over the front yard, from the scary man trying to break through the glass and getting his fingers caught. Yes these are both true stories!

Gum

I smell like a watermelon, but im really a peice of lime green stride gum... I was made in Canada, bought in a shell gas station, by a guy by the name of Curtis. After awhile i guess i lost my taste and Curtis had to start on a new peice of gum. There was no garbage around, so he decided to throw me down the toilet like i was never worth anything to him.